and you know when i dont blog meaning im busy! hahah. or else i would blog.

im kinda at a lost to where i am in this "relationship" thing that i have.....

but i do know for once, this guys makes me wanna be better and be me and to grow up and move out and into my own place. =) he makes me happy when im with him. but he also makes me soo mad and sad.. even though i dont know him for so long... i feel like we do. i dont know why. and he is basically the first guy to kinda look at me and know whats wrong if and when im having problems. but i guess the one thing that bugs me with him is that he acts really macho around his friends saying him and i arent serious? ooh yeah he doesnt know that i know he said that. i was slping but i could kinda hear him talking... which is weird cause when its just him and me just hanging out.... he isnt like that but instead he is incredibly sweet.

arrgh i don know ive got alot on my mind right now... go a horrible phone call and i hope my appointment on may 18th will go well. im sccared. so to whoever out there who is reading this... please pray for me too.. that everything will be okay and that i will be okay and help me have the courage to be strong.